Testimonies from  Marriage Ministries International in New Zealand

Russell and Kim Lines

It’s now been twelve years since Kim and I had the opportunity of going through our first Married for Life course at a Leadership Training Weekend in Auckland.  Five years later, we had the wonderful opportunity of stepping into the role of National Directors for New Zealand.  We have also had the privilege of leading many MFL courses and LTW’s, our latest 14-week course finishing just last month. Once again, we saw God move in a powerful way as ten people (some of these children of couples in the group) gave their lives to Jesus Christ and start down the path of restoration for their marriages and families.  Through this time, God has continued to work patiently in our own lives as he carefully cuts away all those things that are us and replaces them with His Son.  I am so glad we have learned to trust Him, because many of these times have been painful and difficult, the latest of which we want to share with you now.

I don’t know how many times we have taught ‘life patterns.’  God has shown us many things we have had to deal with in this lesson, but overall my family pattern (Russell) has never fit the model that we have heard many others testify to and we have never known why.  We wanted to believe that good Christian parents who remain together generally have happy Godly children that remain together and life’s a breeze. Very simply, I am the oldest of six children from a Christian home and Christian parents.  All of us at some stage in our lives have made decisions to follow Christ; all except my youngest brother have seen and experienced destruction in every area of our lives.  Although for Kim and me things have been difficult at times in our relationship, we believe that God has protected our marriage.

However, our business life financially has gone from one nightmare to the next no matter what we do to put things right.  This has been the area that God has taught and stretched us so much.  All my four older siblings have experienced many problems including immorality, adultery, a lesbian lifestyle, miscarriages, premature babies, and financial difficulties.  In all of our struggles and battles, the destructive pattern we have experienced as a family has not touched my youngest brother.  He has a happy marriage and a very successful business; it has always seemed that everything he touches is blessed.  So you can see why we struggled to use my family history when teaching ‘life patterns’ as it did not seem to fit the teaching of MFL.  That is until now!

How God Moved in Our Family

It was 3:00 AM when God woke me early one morning several months ago and said, “Meet me on prayer mountain.”  This is a special hill on our land where I love spending time with my heavenly Father.  It was a cold but beautifully clear night with a wonderful full moon.  While in His presence, we talked about things and then God asked me if I wanted to be healed.  I had recently had an accident and was preparing to go into the hospital for an operation so I thought this is what God was about to heal.  So I said, “Yes.”  Then God asked me to lie down and he would heal me.  The grass was long and wet, but He just said, “If you want to be healed then lie down on the grass.”  I have slowly learned to obey God over the years as He has given me many unexpected things to do.

So I lay down, spread eagle in long wet grass on the top of a hill in the middle of the night.  No bolt from the blue or warm fuzzy feeling came.  But I knew that I had been obedient to God.  Things however were about to change forever!  It was only a few days later it was made known to my family that the first five of us children have different fathers.  Now many people grow up with this as part of their childhood but to have it dropped on you in an instant at fifty years of age was quite a shock.

A few days later when I went into the hospital for my operation, I had to fill in a form detailing family history.  I found that I didn’t have any.  I didn’t know who my father was and I would probably never know.  (My Mum and Dad went home to be with the Lord about eighteen years ago.)  We also knew through our ministry experience that there was a very powerful curse that had been operating in our lives unchecked for years.  My Mum and Dad had lived a very worldly lifestyle.  Unknown to us, Dad was unable to have any children and when I came along ten years after they were married, they were involved in a very lively party scene.  Just prior to the birth of child number five (me), with their marriage about to collapse, my Mum contacted a deadly disease and was pronounced dead.  But, miraculously she was revived! This was a wonderful opportunity for God to give her a little look at hell.  So, when she was released from the hospital, she promptly gave her heart to Jesus Christ.  It was three years later that my Dad gave his heart to the Lord, and then I had the incredible blessing at eleven years of age of living in a Christian home.  One year later my youngest brother was born and I now know why Mum and Dad always called him their miracle baby; and why he is the only one who looks like my dad.  God had blessed them with their own son. 

Identity in Christ 

You see the devil brought this revelation into our lives at one of the hardest times in my life.  My health was poor.  We were on the brink of losing everything and then to take away the only thing I had left - my identity.  He even gave me a verse, “One of illegitimate birth shall not enter the congregation of the lord, even to the tenth generation” (Deut. 23:2.)  It was at this point that Jesus tapped me on the shoulder and said to me, “Don’t worry they would not let me in either, and I have broken the curse!”  I then knew my identity in a wonderful family was confirmed.

I also realized that like Jesus, I had the wonderful privilege of growing up with the most wonderful parents, like Mary and Joseph, who cared for me and loved me as his own son.  Over the next couple of weeks, God walked us through some special steps with some close friends of ours as we saw this curse broken off our lives forever. So why did God wait fifty years to reveal this to me?  I don’t have all the answers but I trust Him and I know He loves me and His timing is always perfect.  As we move on into the future in this ministry, we have now experienced first hand what happens when children are born outside of a covenant marriage.  We have also experienced first hand what happens to a family when Jesus Christ breaks the curse of the devil.  It has been a privilege as God has used this latest challenge to bring about a transformation in our ‘life patterns’.  In three months, it’s like being changed from a caterpillar into a butterfly.  The change has been distinct and noticeable.

Let the Heavenly Father set you free – So who are you?  Someone like I was, unsure who your Dad is?  Well I can tell you, your Heavenly Father (my Dad) loves you so much and He wants you to walk in the ‘life patterns’ of the greatest family in the universe, free from every curse and lie of the devil.  Are you a step mom or dad?  Then I challenge you to be a Joseph and a Mary.  Maybe you are no longer in your first marriage, for whatever reason.  Our Heavenly Father wants you and your children to live in His peace and blessings.  If you have not already done so, ask for His forgiveness and ask Him to break the curse.  At this point He will enter into the very foundation of your covenant marriage, and you need never walk in the condemnation ever again.

I tell you this story in honor of my saved parents whom God gave me and pray that as you read it God will bless and encourage you in this wonderful ministry of seeing powerhouse Christian homes continuing to be built all over the world.

By Russell & Kim Lines

Murray and Janet Fookes  Web page

Each time we do this study we learn new things about marriage and ways we can improve our relationship.

We want to share just one thing at this time that we have learnt, and that is, how to come to agreement.

A married couple who can reach agreement God's way are so blessed. Janet and I are still  practising this 'skill' and can share how great it is when we do it right.
We have learnt that we are indeed a threefold cord is the way to be. (Ecc 4:12)

A while ago we felt that the Lord wanted us to buy a house at the beach that could be used to encouraged couples in their marriages. A place where they could have "time out" away from the daily grind, and put some time into their marriage.
Also a place for our family use.

We started looking and very quickly found a place that was up for auction. It was ideal for what we had in mind.

After praying about the property and asked others for advice and felt it ws the one!

Driving to the auction we discussed what our limit would be. Neither of us had a clue what we limit ourselves to. Yes "Our Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills" but we still have to be wise with the resources He has given us. We prayed as we drove and the Lord gave us the same figure. Now this gave us great boldness as we went into the auction. I was able bid confidently  to that number. There was another couple (investors) bidding against us but seemed very unsure of what they should be doing, even though they we lawyers! Cutting a long story short we won the auction and now own the house. It has been a great blessing to a number of couples, which pleases us no end!

Having that confidence in important decisions is so good for our marriage.
 

W - What Michele and I have to share is offered in love and not in condemnation. We you will be encouraged as you hear how God worked a miracle of healing in our marriage. I met Michele while working as an exploration geologist in South Africa. I was a 28-year-old atheist, of no fixed abode, and little to show for my years of travel but a worldly wisdom in my own eyes.

M - I was divorced with a daughter aged seven, and had been on my own for five years. I was cynical about men and marriage, and had also been raised in an unbelieving family.

W - While it was not love at first sight, once ignited, our love flared swiftly into a fire we believed would burn forever. We were married on the 20th April 1991, in the parish of Christ Church, Pietersburg in the Northern Transvaal. Having both recently given our lives to Jesus, we took our vows very seriously and promised to love one another, forsaking all others until we were parted by death.

 M - After a few years of a seeming "perfect marriage", it appeared to me that Warwick had an interest in someone else. Finally my doubts grew to a point that led me to confront him with an accusation of adultery. This he vehemently denied, believing himself to be innocent. Eventually we went to a Christian marriage counselor because of "my problem with jealousy".

W - My hardness of heart towards Michele enabled me to go through every counselling session without owing up to my problem, until finally my unfaithfulness of mind and heart was exposed.
 
 

W - Having failed to build our marriage on the rock that is Christ Jesus, our "house on the sand" came crashing down. I once read that if you want to really hurt someone, give them back something dearly loved . . . broken. So it was with our marriage, as Michele now despised and loathed me with vehemence that is palpable.
The bottom of the pit was reached just before our forth-wedding anniversary, somewhat ironically, in Christchurch, and symbolically, at Easter. Michele told me that she was leaving me, and that she would do all in her power to ensure that I never saw the children again, on the grounds that my addiction put them at risk. That Easter I felt very scared, and very battered, and for the first time in my life I began to understand how Jesus must have felt on the cross, rejected, scorned, and separated from the love of His father.
It was at this point that I got down on my knees and prayed for two miracles. Firstly that God would heal me, and secondly that he would heal my marriage. I prayed these prayers out of desperation, a sense of guilt at having betrayed my vows to both God and my wife, and a fervent desire not to afflict a marriage break-up on our children.

 M - Warwick was terribly sorry, and when I wanted to leave, he begged me to stay, saying that that he would do whatever it took to save our marriage, even if it took ten years for me to forgive him and to learn to love him again. In his eyes it would all be worth it as we'd still have another 40 years together. My thought was, "Oh no, another 50 years to live!" Our pain seemed unbearable.
I was angry with God because he and let me marry this man when I had been so sure he'd brought us together. I was angry with God for having forgiven Warwick, because I knew he was truly sorry, and that I should be forgiving him too. Instead I was filled with anger and hatred, so now I was the sinful one, even though I was the "wronged" party. And I was angry with God because I knew I'd be wrong in leaving my repentant husband, and depriving my daughters of a good father.
We went back for more marriage counselling, and some individual counselling, but at home, life was still a daily trial. Through a Christian neighbour's invitation, we started on a 13-week Biblically based course called "Married for Life". This proved to be a tremendous to be a tremendous help, teaching us God's design for marriage, explaining the marriage covenant we are in with Him, introducing us to spiritual warfare, and how to pray and stay in the Spirit.
At a time when Warwick and I could hardly communicate, we had homework to do together each week looking carefully at our marriage, and praying together twice a day. We were learning to seek the Lord's and were depending on Him in a way we'd never done before.
We went to an Anglican Marriage Encounter weekend where I learnt the "love is a decision". From that day I told Warwick every that I loved him. At first it felt like a lie, but it meant that I had to stop saying, and thinking, hateful things. The Lord blessed my obedience, and gradually gave me new love for my husband.
Later, I decided to forgive, and later still, to trust. But it was hard work, and I came to the point where one day I wept and wept to the Lord and surrendered all to Him saying, "I can't do it Lord. You do it for me. Show me what to do each moment and I'll obey". After that I was no longer doing it on my own strength. The Lord taught me so much during the healing process. I cane to see that I had loved my husband and children more I loved God.

M - I learnt that God heals completely. He didn't want me stay married to a mentally unfaithfully man - He wanted to heal our marriage, and us. And I did not learn that husband nor any other person is my enemy. Satan is our enemy, hurting us through people, but God can help us to see the person as He does, and give us love and forgiveness for them.

 W - "In all things God works for the good of those who love him". So it was that in my journey through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, God accomplished much good in my life. I learned to love Him first from my heart and not my head. By submitting myself completely to His will, he taught me to live by faith, placing my complete trust in Him, and not in my own strength. It was from this foundation that I gained the power to master my addiction, and from this flowed the God-given ability to love my wife faithfully, in body and in mind. God had indeed worked a miracle or two!
 
 

W - God hasn't just mended our marriage - He has given us a new marriage.

Warwick and Michele first gave this testimony when they renewed their wedding vows 20th April 1997. This was done on the occasion of their sixth wedding anniversary, which they celebrated at St Christophers Anglican Church in Christchurch.

When my husband and I first heard about MMI we thought it was a ministry for marriages that were in need of a "fix' se we nearly made the mistake of not going on the course.
Once we started we knew we were in the right place. We thought our marriage was in good shape but because of the in depth study of subjects like the roles of husband and wife, sowing and reaping particularly in the areas of our own words we soon found there was room for improvement. and over the next 13 weeks our marriage was enriched and blessed as a result of applying what we were learning.
We soon saw the first benefit of going on the course in that we got to spend quality time together as a married couple going out without our children and spending quiet time doing our homework on a regular basis. There was also the bonus of a whole new circle of friends whom we learned to love and appreciate.

Frank and Linda were invited to be part of a Married for Life group 4 years ago when we had been married only 3 months. This was second time round for both of them - Linda had been widowed 3 years earlier and Frank had been divorced 20 years - they were around 50 with 6 adult children between them.

On reflection over the years they had realised that in both their previous marriages they could have done things differently and/or better. They recognised that this new marriage was a gift from God and they wanted to give it their very best - Married for Life would give them God's blueprint - and that was the plan they wanted to be following.

 The 13 topics, Scripturally-based, took Frank and Linda on a spiritual journey through the emotional and physical (and spiritual!) aspects of their new marriage, and allowed them to put the past behind them. They testify that doing a Married for Life course at the beginning of a second marriage is highly recommended. It meant that past experiences, expectations, life patterns, attitudes, etc didn't get brought into their new marriage.

Frank and Linda have since led two Married for Life courses, which means revisiting the course content - and they enjoy doing this, keen to keep their marriage under the spotlight of the Holy Spirit.

Stephanie and Mark

His bit.

My wife encouraged (dragged) me along to an information night 9 years ago for couples graduating form a marriage course (Nova Shalom) as it was known then; Married for Life as it is now.

 I dutifully went along and picked up a registration form at the end on the night 'knowing' that it would get lost in all the other junk mail that ends up in the kitchen, but the strangest thing happened it kept turning up on top of every pile I looked at.

 In the end I conceded and we went along to one of the first courses run in Wellington. I didn't think we had a bad marriage and as I looked at the other 6 couples on the first night thought what is wrong with you!

In the 13 weeks that followed I discovered how little I knew about God's blueprint for marriage, and in the following 7 years and 9 times through the course we have discovered how little we learnt the first time through.

 While all 13 weeks impacted our relationship the final week of our first course was the turning point for our walk with God. The lesson focused on the three seasons referred to in Isaiah 37:30. We had been through the free feeding season of new Christians and the second more selective season but had not recognized that the third season had arrived. We needed to "…..sow & reap, plant vineyards and eat their fruit" as Isaiah put it. We needed to stop taking - our jar was full.

 We had heard people say after moving to a new church, that this or that pastor was the best thing since indexed bibles, but only months later they had moved church again. We realized that these people had become spiritual beggars at the table of others failing to recognize the need to move on in God; they drained one relationship after another then they moved on leaving God and his call on their life behind.

At the end of this lesson we were completing the course evaluation and it had a question would you be interested in going into leadership training with Marriage Ministries International and to my wife's amazement I suggested to her that we did. There is nothing wrong with seasons 1 & 2 God designed them to feed us and make us strong but we need to recognise when they are over and see where God has called us to sow.

 We have had our marriage transformed into a covenant-centred marriage reflecting the image of God, however dimly, to a hurting world and know how important our marriage is to God. I am sure we will not stop learning. But I know we would not have sown the seeds or reaped the harvests if my wife had not lifted that registration form to the top of the pile all those times, and I love her for it.

Will you stop letting life put junk mail on top of God's offer to you?

 Her bit.
So we started the Married for Life course and it wasn't at all what I had expected. I was amazed that God had thought through so much about marriage! I knew he had ordained it and it was in His plan but had never realised that he also created all the details!

For example like Roles – roles for husbands and roles for wives, always complimentary. When we first got married we used to have a problem with 'money'. My husband would spend it and I would want to save it – conflicting ideas but God says they are complimentary. When we use each other's strengths then they compliment each other. If I save and then he spends it – we don't end up in debt and we have the things that we need, sounds simple and sensible. Another example is sex – God designed man and woman both physically and emotionally to experience great pleasure and satisfaction from sexual union. That statement blew me away; that we could experience 'great pleasure and satisfaction' – Wow God wanted the best for us even in the bedroom. How many of us close the bedroom door on God? I know we did at the beginning of our marriage but now that we've let him in we can both say that we now experience 'great pleasure and satisfaction'. Praise God.

 In the subsequent courses that we have done God has taught us so many things about our walk with Him and with each other. Praying together, constant forgiveness and spiritual warfare are just a few.

One of the lessons that has really impacted us has been the Faith, Vision and Trust lesson. The lesson taught us that God had a 'faith vision' for each person and situation and that He is waiting for us to line up with His will and agree with His vision. My husband's faith vision for me was "Naphtali is a doe set free who bears beautiful fawns". At the time we laughed at the bearing beautiful fawns as we had no children and weren't thinking of any just yet! As time went on the faith vision made more sense and it's been amazing to see what God has done in the area of freedom for me. Later however we decided that it was time for a family and 2 years later (!) we were finally pregnant. During that 2 years we had our ups and our downs, each month we would think maybe this month. We did though remember God's faith vision for me; which was to 'bear beautiful fawns'. Now God keeps His word – we have to trust and wait, wait and trust, remind Him of His word, remain faithful and under His wings, be obedient to what He's teaching us and continually praise and worship Him, despite the circumstances. 5 years later we have 2 'beautiful fawns' for which we give all the thanks and praise to God. This time could easily of broken us especially with our previous track record of our sexual union but we had a promise of God that we could stand on, and He was faithful! If you're wondering what the details are that God had planned for your marriage, then do a Married for Life course. We would highly recommend it.

We were a married couple who attended church, involved in the community, two children, and believed that we had a "Christian Marriage".Through MMI we had that definition challenged .

 To pray together, was uncomfortable for us as a married couple to attempt. We both had our independent ideals, philosophies, goals and relationships with the Lord, and feared the realities of rejection should we get into any discussions that scratched below the surface.

 The initial suggestion of attending an MMI course was quickly shelved - What do we need that for? However it planted a seed in our marriage and as the date approached, we both, bit by bit, let down our guards enough to at least give it a go.

 The course that followed transformed us in three main areas:-

 Firstly it gave us the tools to go below the surface, to listen, to understand each other, to communicate openly in many areas where we had closed the doors to deep hurts - and to begin to support each other through the healing process. We began to love and appreciate each other more deeply than we had experienced before.

Secondly it started us off praying together, building our relationship up with the Lord, as a couple, as well as individually - and seeing God move.

Thirdly we began to notice the spiritual awakening within our children as they began to pray for things openly, unprompted by us. God was being put in charge of our home and he was making it happen.

 As time has gone we have continued to work at communication and anger is not part of our problem solving anymore. We no longer see each other as the "enemy" in situations but are more aware that we battle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. This has helped us pull together and look to each others gain. We still deal with many of the same issues as before but now have better tools / skills for working through them.

Introducing Frank.
I was born a 24 August 1959 and was raised a Catholic.
As a family we were church goers most Sundays, and for a few years, I went to a Catholic school.
Being raised a catholic we were taught right from wrong, for which I gave my parents full credit.
Coming this background I new that there was a God but I had little interest in following in His ways.
To me going to church was a time waster, but was a place to go to meet people. My views changed when I met up with Wendy for the second time and we started to see each other.
I gave my heart to God not long after that and as an engaged couple started to go to church.
It wasn't until we were married that having a life with God and Wendy took on a whole new meaning.

 When I gave myself to Wendy on the 25th April 1998 I had no idea that we became 'one flesh' as a married couple. Soon into our marriage I seemed to be have a different way of thinking to Wendy. Some months later we we joined a Married for Life course. Through the course I found one special key to working together as 'one flesh' and that is unconditional love, as God had designed us to be like Adam and Eve, before the fall.
When you live so long as a single person you automatically become hard in your way of thinking and emotional feelings for other people in your life. You don't have the understanding of the 'one flesh marriage', where two people bond together, it becomes a lot harder to share a happy relationship in your marriage for life.
Wendy always feels from her heart, and I find it difficult at times coming from the family background where my father was always working hard and had little time for the family. It was hard on my mother over the years and it brought my parents marriage to an end. My mother, Corrie, passed away just last year and was still feeling for her husband that she had always loved deep down.
I can see now the loss of not being in a 'one flesh marriage'. God had designed us to be husband and wife, and to life in a 'one flesh marriage' of love.
For my sweetheart, I will always try to in a one flesh marriage and love you as my wife. God Bless.

 Introducing Wendy.
When Jim and Sandra asked us to give our testimonies, I thought, "wow where do I begin." Well there is only one place to begin and that is at the beginning.
I was born the youngest of four girls and not a boy. My father was unhappy with that and rejected me. I learnt quickly that if you are good then you wont wear his anger. It was easy to be good and Sunday school was most favourite place in the world. That was until I was older when I started smoking dope. At seventeen, I was into heroin and an addict for the next seventeen years.
I had Ben when I was nearly 30 and I started to live for Jesus when I was 34. i met frank and got engaged when I was 40 and married last year at 41, but the roller coaster ride did not stop there.
Marriage was a whole new ball game and not long into it we needed lots of help. Finally we started a M.M.I. course and this is my outreach night testimony. . .

I would like to speak briefly on three topics.

 The first is is on covenant.
I was never going to get married as divorce seemed to be rampant, not only in my immediate family but going back generationally too. So when I accepted Frank's proposal of marriage, it was not done lightly. To me marriage was for life.
In three days we will have been married for 19 months and for the first 14 months, it looked like we were just going to be sadly, another family statistic.
I had hope when a friend told me about MMI, but this only seemed to get worse. It wasn't during the course that things got notably better, or soon after. It is only recently, after I have had time to go over and ponder the 13 points of the MMI course that I have come to understand the value of them in my life.

 The second one is 'sowing and reaping'.
There have been a lot of words spoken out in pain and anger, mainly by me and it has only been recently that I have understood what 'sowing and reaping' was in a 'one flesh marriage'. When I was angry and hurting, the words that I spoke did nothing for the benefit of my husband or our marriage and they only made me feel worse. What I say and do affects my husband, marriage and our son Ben. What I sow good or bad, I will reap.

 The third one is on Roles.
Both of us have lived our lives just the way we wanted. Even though I had a son, like Frank, I was the one that called the shots and made all the decisions, and like Frank, that meant that we had crossed role boundaries as single people and now as a one flesh couple. We had to redefine areas in our lives to find to find the compatible roles assigned by God.

 As I said there were three topics but there is a fourth and that is the one I am meant to be testify on, it's about being in a one flesh marriage.
We need to understand that when we make a covenant to God and to each other it is binding for life.
That what we put into our marriage is exactly what we get out of it. We reap what we sow.
That in order to to be effective as a one flesh couple we need to understand our roles as husband and wife.

 I have written a poem and I would like to share it with you.
The heading is titled One Flesh.
The ending is that A Reformed Independent.
 
 

"For Better or Worse" . . . (but first we'll define worse)

 "For Richer or Poorer . . . (as long as my EFTPOS isn't declined)

 "In Sickness and in Health" . . . (as long as its only a 24 hour bug)

 "Till Death do us part" . . . (if I'm still interested for that long).

 And then we say “I Do”, but do we really understand what these promises mean to us, our spouses and to God.

 We have recently completed a course for married people of all ages and stages, good and bad, called "Married for Life."

 We came to this course because the continual improvement of our marriage has become very important to us. Our early marriage experience ranged from the honeymoon romance, to the “take it or leave it” stage, to the disappointment of unfaithfulness, and through the hard slog of choosing to rebuild and not walk away.

 If that sounds familiar the good news is that there is an up side.

 We now live a fulfilling life together in a marriage restored by God to one we never thought possible.

 Married for life gives the opportunity to identify key Spiritual aspects of marriage that, put into practice, help strengthen the bond between a couple and bring home the importance of Gods inclusion into the partnership. It also helped us to identify wrong turns taken in the past and what can be done to resolve them in the present.

 Now we live, for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or in health until death do us part without hesitation or doubt and we are "Married for Life."
 
 

Paul and Kelly Sainty

We have just completed the Marriage for Life Course run by a fabulous couple, Mark & Stephanie Williams in Wellington, and boy did we learn a lot.

 We first thought that this was going to be one of those physiological courses, where "this is what a wife should do for her husband and this is what a husband should do for his wife". Well we were soon to learn that this wasn't the case.

Married for 5 ½ years with 2 children, and been a Christian for just over a year, we thought we had been through the tough patch in our marriage, but only to discover that we hadn't, we had only just began.

Firstly, we had to accept the fact the God is a big part of a Christian Marriage, and the Covenant we had made to each other 5 ½ years ago didn't quite reflect the promises God has for us as a One Flesh couple.

 Secondly, we had to learn to communicate with each other, there was to be no more emails to be sent to each other to inform what sports engagements we had organized for the weekend, which was used to avoid any conflicts; we now had to actually sit down and discuss some of the issues that came up in the weekly lessons.

 Thirdly, we had to learn what God's role for a Husband and Wife were, which seemed to bring up a few issues in our household as our humanly roles are kind of reversed. (Dad at home with the Children and Mum at work providing for the family). But we came to realize that we are complementary to each other and we had our spiritual roles in order.

 Fourth on the list, we had to learn to pray together. This was the biggest struggle of all. We had both learnt and built our relationship with God individually and now we had to share God with each other and actually pray out loud together in God's presence. Scary!!!! The feelings from been physically ill to making excuses to avoid getting into any situation where prayer together could be accomplished, plagued us day after day, until we realized we were under attack from the enemy and were in the middle of a head to head battle with our human flesh that we decided to step out of our comfort zones, not only to build our relationship together but to build our One flesh relationship which includes God. The biggest battle has turned into our biggest blessing.

 After the completion of the MMI course, we re-newed our Wedding Vows, declaring to God that Yes we did want Him to be the main focus in our family and also dedicated our Children.

 Through this course we have both discovered our passion and burn, which is to be see Families becoming stronger in Christ and Parents treating their children as God has intended Children to be cared for, in a loving environment. And guess what… It all starts with Mum and Dad's relationship together.

A couple of years ago my wife and I attended a Married for Life course. The lesson on "Praying Together" really spoke to us both and so we started praying together every day.
We prayed or our family and my son returned to the Lord. He had suicidal thoughts and was on drugs. He is now free of these. I believe the prayers of a husband and wife are very powerful!

P R 

We completed a Married for Life course some years ago. We pastor a small country church. After the course we became busy with the church. About three months ago I became concerned about marriages again and wrote to paper offering support to marriages in trouble. The paper took eight weeks to eventually publish the letter but as we prayed and committed ourselves to standing for marriages people started calling in for help and advice.
After this article was published the flow accelerated and we are just buzzing with how God answers prayer ahead of our plans and ideas and we are excited at what God is doing in marriages today.

Sandy and I are “Married for Life” leaders.